Thank you Sir may I have another?

So here my husband and I are, again, in the 4NT wing of Froedert. The rush of emotions hit him pretty hard since this place all too familiar to him. Vanessa was assigned to room 5. It was late in the day when we all got there. I was running on minutes of sleep, yet I wasn't fazed by it. When we walked in the room Vanessa was sitting on the middle of her "new bed", arms clutched around her knees, a half crooked smile because we were there, and a look on her face that made me want to crawl inside of her and take that nasty cancer by the balls. This was all really happening, and being the control freak that I am, I couldn't do a damn thing about it. None of my herbal remedies would work this time, nor would lots of sleep, nor would the sweet, soft, caring, loving words of our mother.

I had packed a small bag full of sentimental things that belonged to me to leave in her room because let's be honest, this wasn't the Ritz Carlton. We weren't there for long until I started putting up the pictures and knick knacks I brought for her. First was a picture of me and her on the last Caribbean vacation that we were on together. Feb. of 2006 to be exact. Vieques, Puerto Rico.  Then there was the picture of me and Paul from our wedding "shower". The book Guess How Much I Love You?. Lastly, a family picture of the four of us from my wedding rehearsal dinner. They brightened up the room a bit.

Later that afternoon her main doctor came in and gave us the down low on what Vanessa had and what she was going to face.  We learned that Vanessa was diagnosed with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia-ALL. This is the type that normally, what's normal anymore though, right, that adolescents get. It is considered a curable cancer.  There was only one piece of the puzzle that we didn't have yet, and that was if she had the Philadelphia Chromosome. This little asshole would determine if she needed a stem cell transplant. She obviously would need chemo too.

Funny how being the holistic person that I am, and swearing off chemo is what I always did,  I didn't think twice about the word chemo when it came to Vanessa. Do I wish there was something else that was out there that didn't pose to harm her while doing good, yes I do, but this was baby sister, a product of two people that made me too.